This is difficult even for Christians who have an unbelieving family member die.
But for those who die without Christ, we know we will not see them again and finding comfort in that situation is very painful.
Especially for those who have taken great pains to communicate Gospel truths to their loved ones, there is associated with this situation a pain that asks "why?" As Christians, we wonder how anyone could refuse such a precious gift. Our joy in the Lord moves us to want that same joy for others. However, the truth is that even though the invitation is open to all, some will not receive the gift.
What does the Bible say about whether we will be able to recognize people in the afterlife? King Saul recognized Samuel when the witch of Endor summoned Samuel from the realm of the dead. (1 Samuel 28:8-17)
When David’s infant son died, David declared, “I will go to him, but he will not return to me” (2 Samuel 12:23).
David assumed that he would be able to recognize his son in heaven, despite the fact that he died as a baby.
In Luke 16:19-31, Abraham, Lazarus, and the rich man were all recognizable after death.
At the transfiguration, Moses and Elijah were recognizable (Matthew 17:3-4).
In these examples, the Bible does seem to indicate that we will be recognizable after death.
The Bible declares that when we arrive in heaven, we will “be like him [Jesus]; for we shall see him as he is” (1 John 3:2).
Just as our earthly bodies were of the first man Adam, so will our resurrection bodies be just like Christ’s. (1 Corinthians 15:47)
“And just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we bear the likeness of the man from heaven. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality” (1 Corinthians 15:49, 53).
Many people recognized Jesus after His resurrection (John 20:16, 20; 21:12; 1 Corinthians 15:4-7).
If Jesus was recognizable in His glorified body, we also will be recognizable in our glorified bodies. Being able to see our loved ones is a glorious aspect of heaven.
Although we may have pain in the remembrance of that loved one while we are in this life and go through the grief process, there will come a time when each born-again believer will be with the Lord.
It’s hard to imagine that we can be happy in heaven if we have an awareness that those we loved on earth are not present. We do know that when we arrive in Heaven, we will not have anything to be saddened by.
Revelation 21:4 tells us, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Missing our loved ones would presumably fall under the category of pain or mourning. Perhaps we will have no knowledge or remembrance of them at all. Perhaps we will have come to see things from a heavenly perspective and will understand why our loved ones not being there somehow glorifies God and will rejoice.
Abstracted from www.gotquestions.org
It’s not always about snapping it out. Some may say “If you have not snapped out, you have not rest your faith and matters in Christ.” It’s about reality being faced in front of you! You look at the whole world right in front of your eyes and what do you see? You turn on the television and look at the news, what do you see? Suffering. Yes, as Christians, we see suffering as something that builds up our character and growth in our spiritual life. But sometimes suffering just keeps piling up.
Yes it’s true I may never know what happened to my mother whether she believe in Jesus or not during her coma state. Take the person who has been in a coma for a period of time and is unresponsive. Everyone might think, “They were in this accident. They didn’t know Christ when they left home that day, so obviously they still don’t know the Lord.” But we don’t know what God is doing in someone’s heart and mind, bringing back to their memory aspects of the Gospel that have been shared with them, and things they’ve read and heard. In their weakness, in their most vulnerable, least independent, most dependent state, they could be turning to Christ in faith. But I just came across this message about late repentance before death, and it left me stranded about whether miracles can happen before death.
Unknown Late Repentance - Bob Jennings
Some promote the idea that we cannot say a departed non-Christian is in hell, in that he might have repented secretly just before he died. Here are some thoughts on unknown late repentance.
1. We must remember the fact that there is no reason to think they did repent, if indeed there was no genuine evidence of it before death.
2. The Bible does not give encouragement or comfort about such thinking – that they might have made some secret repentance.
3. The Bible makes salvation contingent upon a confession. (Rom 10:9-10)
4. The Bible boldly assumes men perish, if there is no reason to think they repented; for example:
a. Judas Iscariot
b. the false workers, Philippians. 3.19, "their end is destruction", and, 2 Corinthians 11.15, "their end is according to their deeds."
5. The devil would like to promote such thinking, as he would rob God of His glory, the glory God would get from putting the person in hell, or receiving a confession, as in the case of the thief on the cross.
6. The sinner would like to hear such thinking, for it would encourage him to continue in his/her sin and slip in to heaven the way he presumes the deceased hopefully did. After all, that is what these Christians are saying and hoping, and they claim to be "in the know."
Death-bed repetance is rare, "There is one death bed repentance recorded in the Bible (The thief on the cross), so that no one despair, but there is ONLY one, so that no one will presume." Matthew Henry
Death-Bed repentance is rarely true. True repentance can be late, but late repentance is seldom true. "Late repentance is seldom satisfactory." J.C. Ryle.
-- Bob Jennings
http://thoughtsonthewayblog.blogspot.com/2009/06/death-bed-repentance-bob-jennings.html
I recalled, my mother, being admitted to hospital a month back, she cried on her bed. She wailed and cried because of her deep pain. I remembered her saying “Why! Why do I have so much suffering? What did I do to deserve this?” I consoled her, hugged her and patted her back. Tears just flowed from my eyes, to see my mother going through so many hardships in life pains me so much. I couldn’t bear to see her suffer at that time. As I patted her on her back and hugged her tightly, I thought to God, “How long…and why…why allow her to suffer so much? While other parents are healthy?” And a month later, she was gone. Being led into the crematorium to witness my mom's cremation, is just terribly devastating and horrifying.
To see the coffin slowly, being pushed by a machine into the hot furnace that burns over a thousand degrees, how excruciating is that…I sensed the pain of her body being pushed into the blazing furnace. I then felt that the world was unfair, after that day onwards, much more unfair than it used to be. I wondered why Christian youths from church have a lively lifestyle than me. To see both their parents are Christians, coming from well-to-do families, not experiencing the worst of worse problems in life and just having what they want. You don’t see their mother or father dying, you don’t see them being lonely and depress, and you don’t see them being treated indifferently in church. I prayed for salvation for my parents for almost 2 years, and to see them not yet saved and others to share about their testimonies of how they prayed and their parents get to accept Christ frustrates me a lot. I told God "I did the same thing, I prayed, I cried, I desired for them to be saved, and yet other parents are saved while mine is not, and now my mother is gone. I mean what do You do with that? Why make salvation so difficult for my parents?"
And while it gets irritated to see others asking people who suffer to snap out of it, it’s not something the holiest saint can do, how much more can I. There is anguish in the heart. You want to know what is it like to see your mother being in a physical body form and then being cremated into ashes and bones, and then fitted into a small jar!? Do you even know what it feels like? And then put into a columbarium. And to see the picture of her face on the stone tablet on the jar, do you know how painful it is? It doesn’t matters to you so much isn’t it?
That’s because you don’t have to worry about asking God for salvation for your parents because they are Christians. Probably you don’t really care that much about the salvation of others. We dimissed the thoughts of other peoples' death because it doesn't matters much to us. And perhaps there are some grandparents who are non Christians, we pushed the responsibilities to our parents for their roles to share the gospel to them. Your lives are carefree from gospel sharing, and seeing salvation in family. At times, you share the gospel to your friends and hopefully, if they accept, well good for them, if they don't, well that is too bad, you say. Or only when a non believer comes to church and accepts Christ, then will you have a slight stir of excitement in your heart.
How it pains me to see my friends’ parents seating together during meal times pricks my heart. I wonder why some peoples’ lives are just terribly horrible while others are just well, average. And to see at times people not appreciating their parents or being thankful to them irks me so much. There are also some who get to live longer and some don’t. Have you ever felt the hurt of a Christian coming from a non Christian background. Do you know what’s the worst fear my father thought of? “My goodness, to see my son becoming a Christian.” It's difficult to live in a non-christian home. Do you know that?
Being left in a state of not knowing where my mother left me completely uneasy.
And then being told to face our problems by looking into the Bible for ourselves, finding our own answers. But the Bible doesn’t always specify “This you must do!” There is not always a direct answer for your specific problem. At times, unless the Spirit gives you a special revelation, you can get confused by verses which seem, on the surface, to be contradictory.
People are looking comfortable too much and forget the anguish of God. Being obsess with entertainment in God’s house, a hatred of correction and hatred of reproof. Nobody wants to hear it anymore. Whatever happened to anguish in the hearts of God’s people? Whatever that seems “anguish” is being classified as non Christian negative thinking attitude. Anguish is a word you don’t hear in this pampered age.
Anguish means extreme pain and distress. The emotions so stirred that it becomes painful. The acute deeply felt inner pain because of conditions about you, in you or around you. Anguish is truly about deep pain and deep sorrow. The agony of God’s heart.
Anytime we lose a loved one, grief will be a naturally occurring experience, regardless of whether the person is saved or not. Even when people are saved, we still grieve the reality that they are no longer with us, at least for the present time.
The difference in losing a saved loved one and an unsaved love one has more to do with our hope of seeing them again in eternity.
In (1 Thessalonians 4:13) Paul wrote that we should not 'sorrow as others who have no hope.' In all deaths we sorrow, but when we know that there is no hope of ever seeing that person in eternity, we grieve not for the temporary loss but for a loss that is permanent.
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