Online media reports have also shown the devastated mother knelt down and was wailing at the accident scene. I broke down and wept in my heart, with great grief and sadness. I cannot imagined the pain she has to go through. I've lost my own mother before and I can validate the pain that she is going through is unimaginable, moreover, the pain will definitely escalate to a greater height in the festive periods ahead of Chinese New Year.
No one knows how much it hurts, and how much grief you will have to go through, unless it happens to you. Losing someone you love is the most hurtful, devastating, and painful blow you can ever receive in your life, so please stop telling others who have lost someone to move on with life, things will get better and etc, because that is bullshit. It will never get better, because it is a permanent damage and their lives will forever be changed.
"How could God allow such senseless and tragic thing to happen?" That was the question that was on my mind the whole time. I just can't understand it, and please stop telling me if we understand everything, we will be like God and etc. I know God gave us freewill, and evil and suffering is present on this Earth. But can freewill affect God's plan and will? If it's no, then it must be God's plan for these 2 young brothers to die in such a gruesome way?
I cannot understand why Christians would never be sensitive enough to think about such things, maybe their life is just normal you know, and it's just "easy" to praise and worship God. Maybe they just sweep these thoughts of pains and sufferings under the carpet, and just follow God "blindly" because they think questioning God is lacking of faith, and without faith it is impossible to please God.
And how are these verses applicable when the tragic accident happened?
How can Christians claim the verse of (Jeremiah 29:11) "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."? Sorry, but I just cannot understand how this verse can be applicable in such a way that God created them and God's plan was for them to die in such a way in their last years.
He will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5)
He knows all of our ways, thoughts and actions. (Psalm 139)
And especially Christians always emphasize that each and everyone is important and significant and that God has a plan and purpose for all of us. Sorry, but I can't really understand how God's plan can be applicable in these 2 children when they had to die in such a painful way. Are you telling me that they were born and to be killed in a gruesome way by cement truck in their life?
And if we have no answers for all these, we give the cliche Christian verse (Isaiah 55:9) “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
And honestly I think it's really stupid to say God replaces what He takes away and when God takes it away, He replaces it with the best and when He takes something away, it's not the best for us. So are you telling me that when God took away the 2 kids, God felt like they were not the best? But I thought we are all unique and special in our own ways? If you have never lost your parents or children before, please please don't be stupid to say things that you cannot understand.
I also hate it when people said that "There is a lesson to learn from here through this event." Oh really? What lesson? That their parents must put more faith in God? That God used this tragic horrible accident event of the death of their 2 children to discipline the parents? I honestly think its stupid, sadistic and cruel that God would use such a gruesome way to teach someone a lesson.
I cannot never understand why the parents have to suffer such a unfortunate fate when both of their sons have to die at the same time. What wrong have they done, the children to deserve to die in such a violent and horrific manner? Why is God so unfair to this loving family, and please stop telling me that God is just. I know that.
It's funny how when God saves someone, He's working miracles. When He allows someone virtuous to die, we say He works in mysterious ways. But when an evil person causes the death of a virtuous person, we say God has a plan we can't understand?
How could a good and loving God that says that He has a plan for each and everyone of us, and yet allows senseless painful tragic accidents to happen in life that breaks the hearts of our loved ones? Especially how can natural disasters happened before that killed over hundred thousands of people and claimed that it is of evil and sin that is present in this earth? Yes I know about global warming and that we are harming Earth over the hundred of years, but sorry, I can't understand how tsunami, volcanic eruption, typhoon, flood, and etc are in link with sin, when at first humans have no control over natural forces.
For once, I am so angry with God that He allowed 2 young boys to die in a gruesome way. I felt like God was cruel. If Christians could just say God is with us forever wherever we are, are you implying that God is just standing on the roadside and just watched the 2 young boys got crushed by the cement truck and there was nothing God could do? If that's the case, isn't God a sadist in a sense that He allowed this gruesome thing to happen and that there's limitation to His powers? If God could prevent a senseless tragic accident, why wouldn't He? Because He's plans are higher than ours? If God protected these 2 young boys, and they are alive and well, wouldn't their parents thank God even more and give glory to God?
I honestly think its very selfish of Christians to only feel good about themselves when everything is going well for them when they look at other people's lives, and they can praise God for their "Good" life. But it's like taking of other people's disadvantages and telling God indirectly that you are "lucky" that your life is not like others.
I'm not just saying for these 2 boys who died, but for the many other millions of senseless death that occurred and pains that people received over the world. I've heard Christians said that when all these deaths and sufferings are happening over the world, God's heart is broken and grieved. But I think it's funny to say that when you have the power to do something to help someone, yet you choose not to, and you felt bad about it, it's kind of contradicting in a way. If God's heart is grieved and broken, He should do something about saving the 2 children at first.
Another thing is why would God sometimes choose to intervene and sometimes withdraw his intervention. For example, God choose not to intervene when someone got raped in India, and she died after sexual assault, while God choose to intervene in United States when someone got raped, and she was rescued by others. I mean, why one was murdered while another got saved?
I don't understand why we can share things that builds up our faith but people would shun away things that don't want to hear or talk about that brings down their faith. Why? Why would people, especially Christians would avoid the topic of death and suffering? Because it makes them uneasy? Because their lives are 'normal' and they don't want to hear anything to shake their lives and beliefs in God? I don't understand why. Now I just have this instinctive feeling that I'm being blacklisted in Church, giving people so much problems, troubles and questions, that it comes to the point that people just want to have nothing to do with me anymore.
I hate it when there's so many doubts that I have no answers to. Trust me when I say that I hate myself, because when I'm trying so hard to come back to love God, but my mind is so clouded with so many thoughts and doubts against God. I'm already trying so hard not to be against God, yet I'm struggling in trying to survive everyday without killing myself and it's already so hard; having to deal with my mom's death and my gayness is another big struggle for me. I don't want to go to hell yet there's so many questions burning inside within me that makes me doubt God with anger and bitterness each day and It's killing me from the inside out. It's like a mental spiritual suicide.
Hey there... Just know that there are many of us out there who are going through exactly the same thing as you. I lost my mom 2 years ago to cancer and it destroyed my world and my family. We are all still grieving, and I have not fully come to terms with it. People say it gets easier over time, but in all honesty the pain will always be with you. Holidays and birthdays are the hardest. I also know what it's like to struggle with self image issues. Thanks for being brave and posting your pictures. I honestly don't think your complexion is that bad at all (mine is a lot worse). I'm really being honest about that, and not just saying that to make you feel better. It would be hypocritical of me to say "keep moving forward", because I'm struggling really hard myself. My insecurities and depression has nearly taken everything from me. My relationship is falling apart because I'm so racked with insecurities. Every facet of my life has been coming apart at the seams and I feel really hopeless and lost. Oh... and I'm also gay.
ReplyDeleteOh hey there, thanks for reading my blog and I guess we both can validate the pains that we are going through. I know the grieving process is mostly difficult and painful to go through, and just to let you know that I'm here if you need a listening ear or someone to talk to!
DeleteI guess we both struggle the same issues of self-image and inner self-worth. I know that painful moment in trying to continue trying on everytime when things seemed so messed up. But please don't give up, alot of people tell me that as well, but I just keep trying to hold on every time, hoping things might be different this time...but I truly appreciate you for being so honest to me as well and Thanks for being so open in telling me your struggles and about being gay as well, I struggle very hard everyday as well.
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I read you article and i just want to say that even if you don't think so God knows exactly how you feel. His son died the most gruesome death the human race could come up with. He was lashed more times than we could survive, and the had to carry the very thing he would die on. God watched his very own son die, he knows the pain you feel, but he does everything for a reason. Even Jesus asked God for another way out but God said NO to his own son.
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