Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Why I hate handsome people

Every day is a nightmare, over and over again, replayed in my head, about how I will never succeed in life. I'm that ugly motherfucker that no one would ever want to hang out with. I'm that emo fucker that everyone hates to communicate with. I'm that pathetic fuck that cries for attention and helps all the time that people get sick of. I'm that kind of piece of shit that everyone hates.



Everyone changes and moves on. But not me. I am sad, and it'll never change. I cannot remember the last time I truly felt happy. But I just want to be okay again. I know I've screwed up, and plenty of times. But I've always tried to do the right thing.

I couldn't quite love myself, knowing how disgusting and ugly I look. Please don't tell me I have much to live for because I honestly don't. I don't understand, I truly don't. What do I not understand? I won't ever understand why those with the biggest heart always end up being treated like shit. If I'm ugly, tell me. Because although I'm ugly, I still have a heart that loves and care. But I guess it's sad that no one falls in love with Mr Personality here. Why am I so ugly...?

Every time I look in the mirror, I see this ugly boy looking back. face cratered with acne scars, and no matter how hard I try to conceal it, it has a way of showing it. It's sickening and tiring for me to try to hide my imperfections. I'm so afraid of going out of my house.

Whenever I see handsome guys out there, my heart died a little inside. Why? Because I can never be like them, yet I'm still attracted to their looks. How horribly I hate myself even more. I don't think anyone realises, how it's so hard for me, just to exist. I just want to look good for once.

I want someone to love me but I don't see why anyone would. I'm sorry I'm not better looking. I'm sorry I'm not good enough.






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4 comments:

  1. Anonymous3 February 2014 at 01:13

    Oh God. I can really reflect to most of your entries. It feels like reading a part of me. I am gay, I have acne and I am very depressed about life right now. But I continue hoping that everything is gonna be better in God's time. I just keep on holding to my faith in God. It is really a struggle... :(

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  2. Anonymous27 February 2014 at 06:02

    Hey hang in there, you deserve a guy who loves u and u will find it. dun give up, and walk forward!

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  3. Anonymous15 November 2014 at 06:51

    Are the gifs from a movie? which one?

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  4. jenshark6 September 2018 at 06:20

    The saying “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is one of the most true statements. As you get older you will see this. Think about the things that you think are beautiful that others don’t see as beautiful. You are good looking to someone out there you just haven’t found them yet or they were to shy to tell you. Look at yourself and find your beauty, overlook what you see as ugly and keep looking for your beautiful features. There is something inside of you that is beautiful, open up to others and show them how beautiful you are inside and out!

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